worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
