So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
