Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
