Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
