What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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