dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we're so committed to being not committed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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