Whoa Z and x make the same sound
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
