I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
