jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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