He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Randomize
