Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
