I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
