We're like a lot better than the average bears
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize