I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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