1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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