she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
