I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
