i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize