You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
