try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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