i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
