STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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