That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
