YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
