My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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