it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
