I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
