i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
