Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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