Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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