I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
