a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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