Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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