with your own penis?
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm eating all of the evidence.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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