you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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