I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
