Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
