Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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