Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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