is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm just crazy horny about you
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
