Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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