My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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