wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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