brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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