Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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