why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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