she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
