True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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