Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
