I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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