Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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