3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have aggressive nipples.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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