I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am one with the molecules
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
