I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
