Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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