You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
