Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
