Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
