I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
