how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize