people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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